Donna Goddard, shares a story of one couple’s argument and explains how this seemingly minor issue is a symptom of a larger one — that “without sufficient pull inwards towards the sanctity of the couple’s relationship, the relationship can become lost … [and] without sufficient pull outwards into the world, we can become so selfish and inward-looking as a couple that we stop growing.”
Leanne spoke with naked emotion, almost desperation, in her voice. She knew what she was doing was ridiculous but no amount of talking herself out of it seemed to help. She loved her partner, Peter, and they were true friends. They were not young when they became a couple and so they both brought with them lots of life experience and many friendships somewhere in the background of their lives. It was one of those friendships that was causing the problem.
Peter was a sociable, amiable man who enjoyed his long list of both male and female friends. He was one of those guys who treats women the same way that he treats men. He was great friend material – attentive, loyal, and completely non-invasive. One of his long-time female friends asked him to attend a function with her. It was the function of a mutual friend, they were both invited, and for practical reasons, Leanne was not going to be attending. To Peter, it seemed a nice idea – logical and a pleasant opportunity to spend some quality time with his old friend.