Last year, I started working with a coaching client – let’s call him “Chris,” who came to me after he had been online dating with swipe apps like Tinder and Bumble for over a year. The issue? He’d never actually gone on a date. You can imagine his frustration.
“I find it insanely overwhelming,” this handsome 33-year-old told me. “I pretty much never stop swiping!” The choice – an endless stream offered by such apps – was literally paralyzing him.
This young man’s case might be extreme (of course, there were other issues lurking beneath, and we handled them), but the sentiment behind it is common, right? With so many choices in dating, shouldn’t dating feel easier instead of impossibly stressful?
If that’s ringing a bell, it’s understandable. First of all, these apps must be exhausting you. According to Tinder (2017), the average user logs in 11 times a day, and spends an average 8 minutes on the app each time.
That’s 90 minutes a day. Swiping. And that’s even before you deal with other hazards – like if and/or when someone is misrepresenting themselves (see: “Catfishing”).