Martha Bodyfelt discusses the potential benefits of abandoning what is comfortable to pursue what makes us really happy, especially when it comes to divorce.
I wanted to share with you a quick story that involves Chef Carla Hall. This past weekend at an empowerment forum, I had the absolute delight of meeting Chef Carla. She is co-host of “The Chew,” former “Top Chef” contestant, cook extraordinaire, and an all-around beautiful, compassionate, wonderful person. While I’m not here to post some of her great cooking tips, I am here to share some wonderful things she shared at the forum that resonated deeply.
What we think is safe and secure in life doesn’t always mean it’s best for us.
Carla talked about her prior job as an accountant – a line of work that brought her financial security and looked good on paper but deep down inside didn’t fulfill her spiritually. And although the work was prestigious, she said it made her soul die a little bit each day. One day, in the middle of an audit, she just couldn’t take it anymore. So, she quit her job and left her comfortable environment, scared as hell, to pursue her other passions. The choice, and subsequent change, was uncomfortable. But the hard journey and the second chance at happiness meant that the means justified the end.
This story struck a nerve, but not for career reasons. So many of us are in, have been in, or are ending marriages in which we were comfortable. We may have felt secure in knowing that whatever expectations we (or society) had put on us, of getting married, were met. We may have been financially secure. We may have felt secure in knowing that we had a partner, a +1, and identity of being married that gave us comfort. But, deep down inside, maybe we weren’t happy, and maybe we knew that the relationship was slowly making our soul die.
But, like Carla, we too have a choice. We always have a choice. Remember that this hellish time in our life is laying the groundwork for our second shot – our second chance. It may not have been the road we had envisioned for ourselves. But the divorce and the beautiful opportunities that await at the end of this long and winding road hold promise for a happiness we may have never thought possible.
Surviving Your Split’s mission is to help navigate that journey with you. As always, I’d love to hear from you, any time.
Until next time, please take care of yourselves. You deserve it.