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Neuroplasticity and Relationships

Why Saying “Your Happiness is Not Your Partner’s Responsibility” is Dumb

written by Tal Araim July 23, 2020
Neuroplasticity and Relationships

Tal Araim explains how neuroplasticity convinces people in incompatible relationships that they’re happy when they really aren’t.

Now and then, some clever clogs come up with what appears to be a wise and well-measured statement that sets off a chain of approving nods from most who hear it. Humans are amazing at so many things, however, taking their time to absorb, consider all possibilities, seek some evidence, and avoid jumping to quick conclusions is not one of them. If you haven’t guessed by now, yes, this statement really irritates me. I hear it used far too often as some sort of victorious retort if someone is moaning about their partner. I’d like to call it out for what it is, a generalised short-sighted observation that neither recognises nor resolves the issue.


We’ve known for quite some time about our ability to endure difficulties and survive against all odds. Humans have withstood hardships that are the stuff of legends. Indeed, many accounts can be found in our literary records describing how heroic souls experienced unbearable ill-treatments under the most severe of conditions only to survive and live to tell their tales.

For centuries and millennia, we attributed this to courage, determination, inner strength, belief, and sheer mental fortitude that mankind seems to recall when it most needs it. As true as this may be, there is another, yet far more plausible reason why we can put up with pain and suffering: the recent discovery that our brains are malleable organs.

Neuroplasticity is a relatively new addition to our understanding of how our brains work.
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