Continuing the series of excerpts from Mel’s book on Successful Step Parenting, we come now to the sensitive issue of wedding plans and what to call the new person in mummy’s or daddy’s life.
Many of the practical details of converting two families into one stepfamily will, necessarily, have been thrashed out prior to the wedding. Based on those discussions, a number of decisions may well have been put into operation. Some of them, such as what type of wedding service you hope for, may be dictated by the facilities available.
Marrying Again: The Wedding
For instance, as a general rule, the policy of the Church of England, whilst offering a blessing after the event, does not allow for a full marriage service to those who have previously been divorced. However, don’t let that put you off if you have set your heart on a church wedding – particularly if you are a regular communicant. Individual incumbents may well be prevailed upon to conduct a Solemnisation of Marriage, and it’s certainly worth asking around.
It’s worth remembering too, that whether we choose to be married with all the ceremony of a church service or something simpler at the Registry Office, a marriage is rarely a private affair limited to the two people being wed. By its very nature, it is a public declaration of intent. But more than that, it is the merger of two families – not only of the immediate members who will make up the stepfamily – but also in the broadest sense.