Home Finding Your Life PartnerRelationship Compatibility The Beginning of Our Relationship Journey

The Beginning of Our Relationship Journey

written by Dr. Steven Cangiano February 19, 2021
The beginning of Relationships

I get blank stares when I tell friends I am writing for a relationship magazine. I live in a world of hedge fund managers, big city attorneys, and successful business owners. In the locker room at my gym, they talk about their race cars, private jets, and country club memberships. Through the bluster and bravado, their distress is palpable. These so called “masters of the universe” openly admit ignorance, if not utter failure, in the most important aspect of their life, relationships. They are reeling from the divorce, the affair or the multiple new and much younger girlfriends. This takes an ever-increasing toll on their existence. I know many of their personal stories, and their relationship journeys are painful. My hope is they will see beyond the ego and material possessions and set a new course, one towards a successful relationship journey.


To understand our relationship journey, we must take a trip back in time to the most important event in human history. This is a journey of 13.82 billion years! There, you will remember who you are and the story of human existence. It affirms your preeminence in the contrasting mix called life. This is a discussion based on scientific fact, not opinions, feelings or hearsay.

Our story starts at the beginning when the entire universe was one verse (the root of the word universe means one verse).  This is before we had time, space, and relationships, when everything was one – unified, a complete whole. This was before the big bang when all that we now know, the entire universe, was smaller than the head of a pin. Despite this perfection, the universe desired more! It yearned to experience its perfection. You need to understand imperfection to experience perfection. It loved the oneness but could not experience it since there was nothing else (metaphorically speaking). Creation used humanity to experience itself. Before the big bang, experience was not possible. Humanity is the culmination of the Universe’s greatest desire.


To fulfill this desire, the universe violently exploded (the big bang) and in that instant, gave birth to you, me, time, space and relativity (opposites). This is the starting point of our relationship journey and humanity was destined to fulfill the universe’s greatest desire: experience. It took 13.82 billion years for the universe to become aware of itself, and it has done so through you.

You are the universe experiencing itself

Since the big bang, the universe has been expanding. This expansion is accelerating! Without getting into a discussion of astrophysics, please know that this is a scientific fact. Early on, Einstein rejected this notion of a continually expanding universe, but Hubble, with his giant telescope, proved it. Like many of us, Einstein clung to a belief in a static universe of finite resources. This was considered his greatest blunder. The universe was, is, and always will be, expanding. Despite what most religions tell you, you are a part of, not apart from, the universe/life/God. The universe is for fuller and greater expression of more life. Your real nature is a manifestation of this truth. How could it be any other way? You cannot violate the laws of the universe.

Increased life is who you are, and the pathway for you to experience this reality is through Relationship. An increasing, expanding and fulfilling experience is the animating force of life. Therefore, your life is, was, and always will be for a fuller and greater expression of more life, like the universe itself. This is why you desire more. This is why you want a meaningful relationship. You are a part of, not apart from, this deeper reality. Never suppress or feel guilty about your desire for more; it is who you truly are. It is your true relationship journey.

The way to experience this fuller and greater expression of life, and to understand your perfection, is through Relationship. Before the big bang, everything was one indivisible whole; there was no relationship. There was no beginning and no end, no before or after, no right or wrong, no right or left.  When the universe exploded, opposites were created – there was a before and after, right and left, and past and future.

The creation of opposites is history’s greatest event. Opposites are how we understand life. Opposites (duality, relativity, contrast) give meaning to our world: right/wrong, right/left, past/future, night/day, together/alone, concealed/revealed, the list is infinite. Without suffering, there is no joy; without darkness, there is no light. You are coming and going somewhere at the same time – it is relative. Remember opposites and their purpose in times of suffering because without suffering there could be no joy.


This understanding leads us full circle to the next important truth; opposites are an illusion. The universe provides you with the illusion of opposites as a gift so that you can understand and experience life. Life provides you with relationships so you can go full circle, back to the beginning and experience oneness again; a time and place where opposites did not exist. This is the oneness from where you came. The oneness only found in a true relationship. (Non-duality and understanding the illusion of opposites is the common theme of most spiritual teachings.)

This is the real circle of life. You have been given Relationship so you can go back to the beginning and be unified again. So you can experience ultimate reality, which is oneness. Time, space, and relationships are your tools to experience who you are and where you came from. They are the tools you need to experience your perfection, your oneness, your expanding spirit. This is why you are inexplicably drawn to Relationship. It is the essence of who you are and how you know yourself.

If you are not experiencing oneness, if you are not experiencing your perfection, do not be concerned, you are not yet aware of your true nature. You are temporarily living an illusion. You are unaware of the truth. In this world of duality, for the truth to be revealed it must first be concealed.

This illusion of opposites can be a painful one. It will create a profound sense of separation. To know joy you must experience or at least understand suffering. If you are not aware of this, the illusion can convince you that you are meant to suffer. You might then be told you need a savior. (Some philosophies even believe that “life is suffering.”)


You do not need a savior; you have never been lost. You will wake up to your true nature and opposites will be your pathway, your tools, your gift to do so. You will learn to use the illusion to serve you. So once again, you can experience your perfection and oneness. You can fulfill for the universe what it has sought for the last 13.8 billion years: experience. You are the fulfillment of the universe’s greatest desire. You are Life experiencing Life. You are Life’s ears, Life’s eyes, Life’s touch, Life’s taste and Life’s smell. You are Life experiencing Life’s perfection.

You are the perfect creative expanding force of the universe. You are here to experience a fuller and greater expression of more life, for life itself. It is the scientific and spiritual basis of who you are. On this journey, you are traveling full circle, experiencing the oneness from whence you came, and your vehicle is Relationship.

The skeptics, religious philosophers, and scientists will eventually agree: you are the perfect creative force of the universe. If you have not already, you will awaken to this fact. These are the most important words you will ever read because they were written for you and by you, to remind you who you are. That’s what we are here to do, remember, and Relationship is the tool. We remind each other of the perfection, the oneness from where we came, and the expanding future we are meant to live.


On your relationship journey, I ask you to do two things. The first is, from this day forward be committed to finding and doing what works. Be committed to discovering, learning and practicing what works. Be committed to this above all else. Relationship Development and Transformation Magazine teaches you what works better than any resource available.

The second thing I ask is that you share this information with everyone you know. There are two ways to do this. The obvious way would be to share this article and magazine with your friends, family, and co-workers. There is, however, a better way – be the example of a life and relationship that is well lived. One that is filled with a fuller and greater expression of more life. Live that life; the world needs you.

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