Nan and Serena feel they have the same argument over and over. For them, it’s about money, but for other couples, it could be about the kids, sex, or household chores. Why? We can think about it on two levels and then hopefully, put it to rest.
Level One: Why This?
What is keeping this conflict alive? Here are several possible sources:
You never come up with a plan to solve the problem.
Nan and Serena have a big fight about money, one of them storms off, maybe one of them sleeps on the couch, or they barely speak to each other for a few days. But gradually, they emotionally defrost, one of them talks about their day, a signal that they both know that the other is less angry. The other reciprocates—a light pat on the back—another signal. Then they both actively makeup—I’m sorry, no, I’m sorry. We’re good. We’re good.