Lisa Copeland provides 3 simple mindset shifts to instantly improve your over 50’s dating life.
1. Shifting A Self-Defeating Attitude
A while back, I was having a really bad week.
I was feeling pretty crappy about myself. I’m thinking maybe the stars and the planets were just not lining up for me that month.
Nothing felt right and nothing looked right.
I was looking in the mirror at my arms thinking, “Damn, I’m going to have to start doing the Queen’s Wave.”
You know the one where she holds her arm really close to her side and just waves her hand.
Yep, it keeps you from jiggling, right?
Well, that’s when it hit me that nailing myself with criticism over and over again every single day was keeping me stuck.
That’s because continually criticizing yourself every day (and we all do it with things like if only I was ten pounds lighter or had fewer crows feet around my eyes) can end up taking a serious toll on your psyche.
You start believing the stories you’re telling yourself about how flawed you are, instead of recognizing how truly awesome you are as a woman over 50.
So one morning as I stood in front of that mirror realizing how stuck I was, I decided it was time to make a shift.
Instead of pounding myself, I looked lovingly in the mirror and told myself three qualities I loved about myself.
And a funny thing happened. I started feeling better.
So, I began doing it every day and a surprising thing happened.
I stopped seeing my jiggly arms.
What I saw instead were arms that could hug the people I loved.
Now, here’s a little secret that might help you with body image and dating.
Men don’t pick your body apart.
If they are attracted to you (and men are attracted to all types of women) then they have the ability to love the whole you and accept you just as you are.
2. Work on Giving Up Your Limiting Over 50’s Dating Beliefs about Available Men
Most women believe what makes a man a Quality Man is his ability to sweep her off her feet, wine and dine her at the best restaurants around town, and give her presents and the very wealthy lifestyle she deserves.
Sounds pretty good, but the thing is, money does not necessarily make a man a Quality Man.
For sure you want a financially stable man to share your life with.
But the true test of a good man and a sustaining relationship is about how he treats you and how you feel around him.
Here’s what I mean . . . I worked with a client who was very successful professionally.
She found herself madly in love with a man who was a male nurse.
She decided to give him a chance and was so glad she did.
He made her feel safe, supported, and protected, and he showed daily her how much he loved, cherished, and adored her. She’d come home from a long day at the office and he’d greet her with a glass of wine and the two of them would just sit snuggled up, sharing their day together.
The relationship worked because she got clear on how she wanted to feel around a man based on the Quality Man Template we’d created together.
This tool gave her a really clear vision of what qualities in a man would make her happy TODAY versus always going for the type of man who made her happy in her 20’s.
There are good men online and in the real world who want nothing more than to make you happy if you give them a chance.
3. Open Your Heart So You Can Have The Relationship You Really Want
You may want a good man to share your life with but letting someone into your heart, especially if you’ve been hurt in past relationships, can feel pretty SCARY.
We are protecting our hearts when we start using excuses like, I’m too busy to date or my kids, or grandchildren need me, or there are no good men to date.
Sometimes we aren’t even aware of how we are shutting down and sabotaging our love lives.
I had a woman tell me once that she’d been on five dates in three months and not one was Mr. Right.
As a result, she was ready to give up on her dream of finding love after 50.
I was her last resort.
Working together, we healed the pain and the fear in her heart, and she ended up dating a wonderful man.
Turn Your Life Around
This Inner Dating Game of Mindset Shifts can turn your love life around.
It starts with loving yourself so a man can love you.
Next, see the possibilities and the abundance of men who are out there to date.
And open your heart so love can come to you.
I’m now in a fun relationship that is perfect for me.
A former client reflects: Creating the Quality Man Template with Lisa was illuminating. It allowed me to discover what I wanted in a man and a relationship at this time in my life.
I have learned how to “talk to men” in a way that makes them feel what I am intending (and allows my softer side to come out). I never knew I was emasculating them. The on-line profile I created with Lisa worked beautifully; no scammers, lots of dates, and the process helped me feel more at ease and confidant.
I am currently in a relationship, which is fun and perfect for ME, at this time. Couldn’t have done it without her guidance and wisdom. Thank you! Karen, Seattle