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The Choice Between the Closet and Being Out

written by Dr. Brand Doubell July 9, 2018
The Choice Between the Closet and Being Out

On average, most experts guess that there is one gay person among ten. In a city with a population of a million, it follows that there would be 100,000 members of the gay community. Experience has taught me that you wouldn’t find that many gay people in any sort of gathering from a pride to a parade. It is true that prides and parades aren’t everybody’s thing, but still – there would hardly be 10 thousand at such a city’s parade. The only conclusion would be that most gay people are still closeted.

Like most other out and proud gay people, I can’t imagine why anybody would like to live in a closet for a lifetime. On the other hand, I realize that there are so many factors that could influence the choice between the closet and being out.

I was one of those unlucky few who ran the risk of losing everything when I came out. First of all, I knew I would lose my job; I was a pastor as well as a lecturer in theology, so I had no choice. Second, I knew I would lose my wife and with her maybe even my kids. Third, most of my friends were either in the ministry or they were devout Christians, so I guessed I would lose them, as well. In short, I stood to lose my income, my family, my friends, my kids, my house, and my job.

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