On average, most experts guess that there is one gay person among ten. In a city with a population of a million, it follows that there would be 100,000 members of the gay community. Experience has taught me that you wouldn’t find that many gay people in any sort of gathering from a pride to a parade. It is true that prides and parades aren’t everybody’s thing, but still – there would hardly be 10 thousand at such a city’s parade. The only conclusion would be that most gay people are still closeted.
Like most other out and proud gay people, I can’t imagine why anybody would like to live in a closet for a lifetime. On the other hand, I realize that there are so many factors that could influence the choice between the closet and being out.
I was one of those unlucky few who ran the risk of losing everything when I came out. First of all, I knew I would lose my job; I was a pastor as well as a lecturer in theology, so I had no choice. Second, I knew I would lose my wife and with her maybe even my kids. Third, most of my friends were either in the ministry or they were devout Christians, so I guessed I would lose them, as well. In short, I stood to lose my income, my family, my friends, my kids, my house, and my job.