I work with a lot of gay men. Here’s what I’ve noticed: Gay men are very busy.
It takes a lot of time to:
- Make it at work
- Stay fit with gym visits
- Respond quickly to social media and texts
- Stay on top of trends
- Eat right
- Be socially active and funny
- Have a beautiful and clean apartment
- Find and keep a relationship
- Be a dutiful son
- Give good parties
- Have a sex life
The straight men I know, and the ones I work with in my therapy practice, often are more “chill.” They tend to be more comfortable with leisure time and doing less.
If This is True, Why?
No one has spent money researching this thesis so there’s no way to prove if my sample of clients of urban men in therapy is somehow different.
But I can share what we often discover underneath the exhausting busyness.
We typically learn that it’s the result of being exposed to homophobia at an early age. In other words, it’s called growing up gay on planet earth.