Learning to be vulnerable isn’t easy, especially when you have grown up in an Asian culture that doesn’t value it. RD&T contributing writer, Marcus Neo, shares ways to become more vulnerable – emotionally, physically, and socially.
I grew up in a culture where men aren’t supposed to show their emotions. You know, the typical Asian male. He’s supposed to stoically get into a good University, do something related to Science or Math, get a ‘stable job,’ get a wife, raise a couple of kids, and achieve career success; whatever the hell ‘career success’ means.
How can you be vulnerable? What is vulnerability? You may think it’s something you do that’s feminine, soft-hearted, and sprinkled with fairy dust.
Singapore, my home country, also happens to be one of the costliest cities in the world. A patriarchal society where the metric of success is largely measured by material wealth and academic success. You’re supposed to achieve these pursuits stoically. The expression of any emotion or vulnerability along the way is seen as weak.
However, vulnerability isn’t only limited to the emotional aspect of it, but also social vulnerability and physical aspects of it.
The first form of vulnerability is your willingness to risk rejection and embarrassment. A truly confident individual will not be afraid to show that he’s attracted to a woman. The truly confident man pursues a woman based on his own values and desires.
He has no problem with rejection. He understands he cannot be accepted by everyone, and rejection is inevitable. This form of confidence also cannot be attained by external factors.