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Are You Doing Victim-Thinking?

To What Extent?

written by Dina Marais October 28, 2020
Are You Doing Victim-Thinking?

The extent that you are doing victim-thinking is the extent that you create your own suffering. One thing that is certain is that we all do this at some level, so let’s see if you can recognize yourself…

Last week in a coaching session with one of my clients, I had to stop her as she was talking herself deeper and deeper into her problem. She was carrying out her problem right in front of me: Overanalyzing and overthinking, rationalizing, blaming, and paralyzing herself into overwhelm trying to solve her problem from the same mindset that she created it with.

Einstein said that you couldn’t solve a problem with the same level of mind that created it.

It’s hard to believe but we become addicted to the emotions and drama of things going wrong. Your subconscious mind actually creates the circumstances for you to get your fix.

This most often originates from experiencing a traumatic childhood where fear and scarcity were at the order of the day. No wonder then that the mind is conditioned to scarcity-consciousness and held in place by thinking patterns of away-from-thinking, all-or-nothing-thinking, and personalizing.

Creating Your Own Suffering

These habitual thinking patterns are subconscious and running on autopilot. In other words, you are not aware of them, you just experience them in the following ways and thereby creating your own suffering:

  • Focusing on what is not working
  • Comparing yourself with others
  • Taking everything personally
  • Taking every disagreement as a personal attack
  • Blaming others, blaming yourself
  • Procrastinating
  • Overthinking, overthinking, rationalizing
  • Predicting worst-case scenarios

Your state-of-being is that of fear, doubt, scarcity, feeling overwhelmed, paralyzed, and powerless. Worst is, it feels as if it is personal, pervasive, and permanent.

Your brain is pumping cortisol throughout your body and the neural circuits connecting these experiences are firing and wiring them into highways in your brain.

Here you have 6,5000 thoughts every day on autopilot, creating the same experiences, triggering the same emotions and hormones. If you have the same routine every day, then your body is physically living in the past.

Here’s the kicker. You cannot change this without self-awareness and taking ownership of your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions.

Realizing that you are thinking your thoughts, feeling your emotions, speaking your words, and taking action. Realizing that you have created your life in this way. Realizing that you have been standing in your own way.

Fear of Losing Control

What is behind all of this victim-thinking, is the fear of losing control, the fear of the unknown, the fear of trusting. Your conditioned subconscious mind is doing everything in its power to keep things familiar because the intention is to keep you safe in your comfort zone. Even though this sounds absurd and illogical, this is how your mind works.

The irony is that a new future, a different reality, lies in the unknown because everything that is known is of the past. But venturing into the unknown means you have to step out of the comfort zone of your conditioned mind, and that means letting go of control and the subconscious mind won’t have that.

When you let go and venture into embracing the unknown, your state changes from negative emotions like fear and doubt to excitement, joy, gratitude. The vibrational frequencies of these negative and positive emotions are on the polar ends of the continuum.

When that happens, the subconscious mind sees danger and wants to protect you from that, and immediately something will happen to trigger you to experience fear and you pull back.

So, the moment you start to focus on what you want and what is working, and you count what you are grateful for, you notice the abundance around you, you will be triggered to look at your bank account and see that you are short of money and all the fear will come rushing back.

The thing is that you are not aware of what is happening in your subconscious mind until you become self-aware and understand what and why that is happening and what you can do about it.

Here’s a question for you, on a scale of 1 to 10, to what extent are you experiencing this on a daily basis?


Just so you know, we all have these experiences and their intensity and frequency are in direct relation to your level of self-awareness and the tools you have to transcend them.  This is, in fact, the human condition.

When I took my client through the process of taking ownership of her powers of creation – her thoughts, emotions, words, and actions, she was blown away. For the first time, she realized that there was nobody to blame.

A few days later I received an email saying that she never realized she had blame-on-autopilot.  She is on her way to changing her life.


To learn more, get the Free Template to Claim your Powers to Create your Bliss on my website. Here I explain more about how your mind works, self-awareness, and I take you through the process of taking ownership.

I believe we create our own suffering and through self-awareness and taking ownership of your powers, you are taking the first step to shift from fear and lack to abundance, joy, and peace.

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