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Abandoning Gender Rules to Find Love

Part Two

written by Ken Page, LCSW December 3, 2019
Abandoning Gender Rules to Find Love

There are specific gender rules that men and women have been led to believe that they must follow. And these stereotypes are hurting your chances of finding love. However, these stereotypes are finally being questioned. No one is sure how they are supposed to behave. Additionally, they are affecting modern dating and making it difficult for people to connect with another person. The LGBTQA community is trying to find where they fit into the gender roles and stereotypes. Luckily, these roles are being questioned. It’s time we learn to be authentic and stop hurting our relationships.

Let’s revisit Susan’s date.

Go for Authenticity Even When It’s Scary

Scenario one: Susan decides that she’s going to let herself share all of her excitement with Jim. She’s just going to be her. This is who I am. It’s who I want to be, and I’m really proud. If that makes him uncomfortable, then I am dating the wrong guy.

So she does this; she’s herself, and Jim is kind of awkward. You know, he congratulates her. She could tell, though, that he feels intimidated or maybe not even interested. She leaves the date feeling kind of disappointed but clear on who she is and what she’s looking for.

Scenario two: Susan decides once again that she’s going to be her full self, and she’s going to let herself share all her excitement with Jim. And he is thrilled. He’s thrilled for her. He’s really proud of her. She could tell that he really likes her for the story that she told. They celebrate together, even kind of loudly sometimes. She feels seen and appreciated while in her power, and they both feel closer. Best of all, she feels like Jim gets her.

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