Is it normal for me or my partner to think of other people while having sex with one another?
I suppose I could talk about how it’s important to find ways to spice things up by giving each other caring gestures like going on regular date nights. I could mention how it’s important to set boundaries and be honest about expectations from day one. I could talk about how communication is key; therefore, make sure you communicate with care and kindness … and so on.
But I would be lying if I said I truly believed that those are extremely important. These and many more pearls of wisdom are important, but they pale into insignificance compared to the one unspoken truth.
The Unspoken Truth
A good analogy would be if someone said it’s important to have clean cutlery if you want to enjoy a meal. This is correct. However, if you burn the food, I don’t care how clean that fork is, the meal will be ruined. All such so-called ‘useful bits of advice’ are nothing more than society-approved safety nets we put in place because, historically speaking, society preferred couples to ignore red flags and persevere. We hear things such as “we need to work at it,” which includes my least favourite four-letter word associated with relationships: work.