Adam Blum discusses fear and its role in all the little fights in a relationship, particularly in gay marriages. He also offers advice for how to reduce those little arguments about “nothing.”
If you look under the surface of every little fight, no matter what the topic, you will find that ultimately they are about some basic core fear that all humans hold. The fears essentially look like these questions:
- Does he love me?
- Does she care about me?
- Will he stick around?
These fears lurk in all relationships, even the highly successful long-term variety.
Here are some examples from real LGBTQ couples with great relationships. See if any feel familiar to you:
FACT: She forgot to pick up the milk you asked her to get on the way home.