“I don’t want to be selfish.”
When I hear this statement in my psychotherapy practice, I get suspicious.
Often, it is code for “I’m afraid of expressing my needs.”
For some, the concept of expressing your needs sounds like a cliché. Having “needs” gets bad press. It sounds either “needy” or “narcissistic.” Let’s call it something more respectful today, like “showing up in life” or “I’m going to stop hiding.”
Here’s the thing about our needs: it feels so good when they are validated by others. Maybe this blog post will inspire you to pay a little more attention to your own needs.
By the way, if you are already good (or too good) about expressing and advocating for your needs, then stop reading this blog post. Too much of good thing is a bad thing.