Home Relationship With Your Life PartnerHow Your Relationship Brain Works Having Needs Doesn’t Mean We’re Needy

Having Needs Doesn’t Mean We’re Needy

written by John Amodeo, PhD, MFT February 25, 2020
Having Needs Doesn't Mean We're Needy

The word “neediness” may refer to what Buddhism calls clinging and craving. We perpetuate our suffering through desperately craving things outside of ourselves. Underlying this tendency is a sense of emptiness and a lack of self-nurturing resources. However, many people are so afraid of seeing themselves as needy that they jettison their unavoidable need for loving connections.

Wired for Connection

We grow up in a society that worships independence. Having needs for something outside of ourselves is often viewed as a weakness. We internalize the message that we should be “strong,” which we interpret as standing on our own two feet without needing support from anyone.

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