We are always giving feedback to ourselves. They often say we’re not good enough or we haven’t done something right. At least those are the messages I was telling myself. These are the messages of a perfectionist.
I woke up this morning (for the second time; the first was before 4 a.m.) with my heart pounding from a dream where I lost my backpack that contained my wallet, keys, appointment book, and laptop computer; the modern day necessities that I have become accustomed to having at my side. I was holding my cell phone, speaking with someone who I wanted to tell about the pro-social, progressive event where I was doing my free hugs thing. Then it occurred to me that (in the dream), the black backpack was elsewhere. I raced around the area, looking high and low and chastised myself for putting it down. I did some God-wrestling, shouting to the heavens, “Come on, here I am, doing good work, being all loving and stuff and someone takes my backpack?! WTF? What’s that about?” Sometimes you need to get feisty with the Universe. It was at that moment I realized that my backpack isn’t black. It’s vividly tri-colored. I do lucid dreaming, and that’s when I knew that I needed to rouse myself since it told me I was in fantasy land…whew!