Often, when I begin working with single women over 50, they share with me that one of the hardest parts of being alone is the feeling they have, of an empty hole, inside themselves. And they’ll tell me the only way to fill this emptiness is with a man and a relationship in their life.
When you’re not in a relationship, it can feel like everywhere you go, all you see are couples holding hands, kissing, and whispering in each other’s ear the private jokes they share.
It can make you feel as if your life is incomplete.
Want to know a secret?
A lot of those married women would love to be in your shoes.
They’d love to have the freedom you have in your life where you are only accountable to you and no one else.
In my 40s, I can remember coming out of a long relationship feeling kind of lost and very alone. My kids were in college and I had no family living in the same city as me. My life had been turned upside down.
Instead of being part of “two” – I was now just one – and I was having a hard time adjusting to my new status.
I shared this with a married friend of mine who gave me great advice when she said:
Enjoy this time of getting to know you again. Once you’re back in a relationship, you’ll wish you’d had more of it.
This was great advice, but I was at a loss for finding me again.
All I wanted to do was be part of a couple once more.
Then one day, I woke up. It was as if while I was sleeping, I was given a message by my higher power for what to do to overcome this lack of love I was feeling in my life.
I want to share with you these three steps that worked so well for getting me back into life and love again.
If you do them, I know they can work for you, too!
After a relationship ends, you feel like you’re missing “love” in your life. This is happening because you’re looking outside yourself to find that love again.
Even though you may think it’s about finding the right man, he really can’t fill this part for you.
He can bring love to your life, but it’s up to you to find love within yourself first.
So, how do you do this?
In a relationship, you can get so out of touch with what you love doing. For years, you may have bent like a pretzel to accommodate what the man in your life wanted to do, allowing his wants and desires to trump yours.
Well, now it’s time to rediscover what excites you.
Start by making a list of all the things you love to do in life and start doing them.
This may be hard at first. But I know you can do it!
You’ll want to keep adding to your list as you rediscover this part of yourself again.
Next, you’ll want to make a list of all the people in your life you love.
Since you are now looking for love to start inside of you, this is about who you love not about who loves you.
Otherwise, you’re back to looking for love outside you again.
Here’s an example:
I love my granddaughters with all my heart and it’s so easy to tap into those feelings of love inside myself when I think of them.
My heart just opens up.
You’ll want to feel this type of warm fuzzy love about everyone you put on your list.
Julia Cameron created a book called The Artist’s Way. In it, she suggests going on “Artist’s Dates” with yourself.
What’s so cool about this exercise is you don’t have to be an artist to do it.
It’s about taking 2-4 hours weekly to do the fun things you’ve wanted to do but haven’t done yet.
I can remember going to the Botanical Gardens here in Cleveland and sitting in the Rain Forest listening to the water spilling over the rocks while watching the gorgeous butterflies float from leaf to leaf. I remember walking out of there filling renewed and refreshed.
Artist Dates are great to do whether or not you are in a relationship. As a woman, you often over-give your energy to others, and this is a great way to recharge and refill the energy you’ve given away.
As you fill yourself up doing the things you love to do in life while enjoying the friends and family you love, you’ll find that empty hole closing more and more.
You’ll begin to radiate with the deepest love that shines from within you for the world to see, and that’s when you’ll attract a good man into your life.
Getting a guy is pretty hard when you feel empty inside, and that’s why these three steps are so important to incorporate into your dating life.
Learn More: FindAQualityMan.com