As a couples counselor working with gay men, I am often asked my opinion on monogamy and open gay relationships. So, what works for men in long-term relationships?
Hint: It will take a lot of work.
First, the research:
Several research studies show that about 50% of gay male couples are monogamous and about 50% allow for sex outside of the relationship. The research finds no difference in the level of happiness or stability among these groups.
Next, my opinions and advice, based on my therapy practice:
Talk About it Openly with Your Partner
If you and your partner want to have a close relationship and have additional sex partners, be prepared for a lot of talking. And I’m not just referring to discussions about when, where, and with whom. I mean talking about feelings, what we therapists call “processing.”