Do you and your partner have conflicts over sex?
Does your relationship suffer from a lack of sex? Aside from the problems of premature ejaculation, impotence, and lack of orgasm – which can often be handled through sexual therapy and education – I have found that there are two common sexual problems in committed relationships:
- Using sex addictively
- General lack of sexual desire, or lack of sexual desire for your partner
Using Sex Addictively
Using sex addictively is like any other addiction: It is using something or someone to fill you up or take away your pain.
Are you or your partner using sex addictively? Click here for a checklist about sexual addiction.
The most common form of sexual addiction in a committed relationship is one partner using sex to feel filled, to feel validated or loved, or to take away tension. The partner becomes needy and demanding, often resorting to anger or withdrawal when his or her partner doesn’t want sex. This needy and demanding behavior can exacerbate a common problem in committed relationships: a lack of sexual desire. A woman on the other end of a man’s neediness, or a man on the other end of a woman’s neediness is generally turned off by the pull. After all, demanding and needy energy is not very attractive or loving. A common scenario might be: