It has been since January 1997 that I last wrote about the father-son relationship. At that time, I wrote about the opportunity for a father to revisit (and heal) his own childhood through having a son. Also discussed is how a father needs to establish his own relationship with his son, rather than patterning it after his son’s relationship with his mother.

Rites of Passage

Last May, our son John-Nuriel turned 13. Joyce and I had talked with him all year about what kind of initiation or ceremony he wanted to symbolize his journey to manhood. I had a Bar-Mitzvah when I was 13, but this had never appealed to John-Nuri. He finally came up with a ceremony that was meaningful to him. He invited only those adults who played a significant role in his life to date: his two grandmas, those special persons who cared for him as a baby and child, his martial arts teacher, his voice teacher, and of course, our family.