While pregnant, many well-meaning individuals will inevitably offer up parenting advice. Some of the advice will be helpful, but most of it ends up making the mom-to-be potentially insecure. Words of wisdom like “Get your rest now! Once that baby arrives you are going to be glad you did.” or “When are you due? Oh, January, you say? My cousin had a baby in January and she went absolutely stir crazy. Try to stay as busy as you can at home.” and “Beware of the germs before baby’s two-month shots.” Sure, some of the advice is sound, but a lot of it is BS that makes moms feel like they are being set up to fail when the baby arrives. The barrage of advice only intensifies after the birth occurs. Once the baby is born, all of these expectations can also lead a mother to feel socially isolated.
Getting the ‘Right’ Advice
So where does a new mom turn for truly helpful advice?
Where does she go when she wants to weed out the crap and only take in what is important? The obvious choice is to seek advice from other moms who have recently given birth or who have similar-in-age infants, right?
In my experience, I found solace meeting with other moms, but only for a short period. The obvious choice sort of blew up in my face after a bit of time, and it led me to feel socially disconnected from my peer group. At first, it was great to see other moms who were having similar issues with things like breastfeeding or sleep. I would attend local meetings for new moms, and I appreciated the words of advice from others in that group.