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Stop Letting Your Expectations Hold You Back

written by Oliver JR Cooper November 17, 2020
our Expectations Hold You Back

It is often said that someone shouldn’t have any expectations and that they should just see what happens. Now, there can be times when having this outlook will be the best way to be. It can stop them from getting in their own way. For example, if they were to reunite with a long-lost friend or family member and not expect anything, it is easier for them to accept whatever happens.

An Unexpected Outcome

After not having seen this person for many, many years, it might only be a matter of time before they feel let down. Even if their time together was to go well, it doesn’t mean that this person would want to see them again soon or at all.

Therefore, it is a good idea for them to have an open mind and not expect anything. This way, if their time with them doesn’t go well, or if they don’t want to see them again, it won’t have a massive impact on them.

Another Experience

Another option is if someone is this way practically all of the time, not just when it comes to certain situations. Here, one won’t have any expectations; they will just ‘go with the flow’ and see what happens.

If someone was to live this way, they could say that they have let go of all their attachments. As a result of this, they are refraining from exerting their own influence on their life and are trusting that the right thing will happen.

A Form of Avoidance

On the surface, it could be said that someone like this is an example of an evolved human being; as their ego-mind is no longer involved in the creation of their own life. This could be the case, or there could be far more to it.

What this may illustrate is that after being let down time and time again, they have simply given up. Going with the flow is another way for them to avoid pain, which shows that their ego-mind is still very much involved in how they are behaving.

A Co-Creator

Another thing that needs to be acknowledged: one is not just an observer of their reality. If they were, it would be possible for them to just let go of their expectations and to ‘see what happens.’

However, as one is actively playing a part in what they do and don’t experience, they are likely to always expect something. The challenge is that if they are not aware of what their expectations are, it can seem as though they just happen to have certain experiences.

Going Deeper

One can say that they don’t have any expectations. After they have had a certain experience, it could be put down to bad luck. In reality, what has taken place could be a reflection of what they expected to happen at an unconscious level.

Their conscious mind would have been clear of any expectations, but at a deeper level, they have had numerous expectations. This is an example of how someone can be undermined by their own unconscious mind as opposed to anyone ‘out there.’

A Powerful Force

Once an expectation has taken root, regardless of whether one is aware of it or not, there is complete certainty that it will take place. What is taking place within them will then shape what they experience in the external world.

The situations, circumstances, and events that they find themselves in will mirror back what they expect to happen. Without this awareness, though, one will ‘just happen’ to have these experiences.

Getting to the Roots

By taking a step back from what is going on externally and looking into what they expect to happen, it gives them the chance to find out what is causing them to experience life in a certain way. They are taking their attention away from the effect and looking into the cause.

When it comes to their expectations, these can be a consequence of what they have experienced as an adult and what they experienced as a child. What happened during their early years may have had the biggest effect.

A Closer Look

Their caregiver’s expectations could have an effect on what they come to expect from themselves. Also, how these people treated them can play a part in how they would expect other people to treat them.

The experiences that their caregivers had play a part, too, with one seeing these experiences as being what life is like. Considering this, what they learned, directly and indirectly, plays a part.


If an area of one’s life is not going as they want it to or their whole life is not going in the right direction, it is essential for them to look into what their expectations are. This is something that can take place with external support.

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