You know that feeling. Some of us know it all too well during divorce and after divorce.

When one of your grown children, after spending the weekend with your ex, tells you about the “new friend” that is at your ex’s house.

Or when you hear about the trip your ex is taking to Europe while you’re struggling to make ends meet.

Ah, jealousy. The Green Eyed Monster consumes us when what we should really be doing is focusing on our own divorce recovery.

You’re not alone when it comes to dealing with jealousy, especially after a divorce. And I have to share with you two very ugly truths about this emotion.

Jealousy is selfish.

Have you ever known someone in your life that was always me, me, me and never bothered to ask you about your day, or your hopes and dreams? Well, jealousy is like that person because it’s a barrier that causes you to worry about something (your ex’s new life) that you have no control over.