Are you stuck in this pattern: first trying to explain and defend and then giving up? Keep reading to understand the myth of explaining and defending.
Fruitless Attempts at Approval
How often did you hear some variation of one of the statements or questions below when you were growing up?
“What’s the matter with you?”
“How could you do that?”
“Explain yourself, young lady/young man.”
“Why are you dressed like that?”
“Why are you late again?”
“What did you do to your hair!”
I heard it all the time. And what I learned to do was to desperately defend and explain in fruitless attempts to get my mom or dad to stop judging me and see me. Or I would apologize and become the “good girl,” so they would approve of me.