Nellie was having her first phone counseling session with me when she said,
My husband and I have a great working relationship. He’s great to the kids, he’s nice to me, he works hard on the house but he isn’t very interested in getting to know me for who I really am. Any exploration around personal growth is threatening to him. Sometimes I feel so depressed to think I’ll spend the rest of my life with this person when I want so much more, but there isn’t anything wrong to point to as to why I would leave.
The problem was that Nellie was discounting her deep need for emotional intimacy – her deep need to know and be known, her deep need for emotional connection. Stating that, “there isn’t anything wrong to point to” indicated how little she understood her need for emotional intimacy and connection.