There are people who, when they take a step back and observe their life, they may see that it has been one big struggle. This is not to say that they have never had good experiences or that they don’t have nice things in their life. There is the chance that they have most of the trappings that are associated with success, such as a nice car, a big house. and a load of money in the bank, for instance. But, even if they do have these things, it probably didn’t come easily if childhood trauma was involved.
From the moment an individual with childhood trauma wakes up to the moment they go to sleep, they may push themselves to the limit. Living in this way will take a lot out of them, and most of the material objects they have may not do much for them overall.
If they were to describe what their life is like, they may say that it is like being on a treadmill that never stops, instead of reminding themselves of how hard they have worked to earn what they have.
A Sense of Pride
Still, they may feel proud of what they have achieved and how hard they have worked over the years. They could believe that working hard is the only way to achieve anything, and that it is also the ‘right’ thing to do.
Most of the people in their life may admire their work ethic, seeing them as an example of how to behave. So, although they will often feel worn down, they won’t be short of approval from others. If this is their experience, it could be said that they have used the power of their will to create a good life for themselves.
On the other hand, if someone doesn’t live a life like this and they are not ‘successful’ in the material sense of the word, it could show that they have not tried to resist what is going on; which is to say, the struggle has been the driving force in their life. This type of person has accepted that life is a struggle. They’ve decided that they are not going to jump through the hoops. This doesn’t mean that they will have totally given up and turned their back on society, it just means that they are simply going through the motions of life.
Through experiencing life in this way, there is the chance that they will have what is often described as a ‘victim mentality’. With this mentality, they may often feel powerless, helpless, and as though they have very little control over their life.
If ever they do work hard, they may typically find that they receive very little in return. It could seem as though they have to do twice as much as others just to receive the same (or less).
Being vs. Doing and The ‘Right’ to Exist
After experiencing life in this way for as long as they can remember, they may carry a fair amount of anger, resentment, and rage. Other people could be seen as being lucky or as having something that they themselves don’t have.
Either way, they won’t receive the level of support that they need. What has not entered their mind is that the reason other people have different experiences is because that they have different beliefs.
When it comes to someone who does feel supported and lives a life that often flows, they believe that they deserve to be on this earth. As a result of this, they don’t feel the need to earn their right to exist.
The very fact that they are on this earth is seen as evidence that they have a right to be here. By having this outlook, they will be able to just ‘be’ and to work with the universe, as opposed to needing to ‘do’ all the time and to make everything happen through force.
When it comes to someone who doesn’t feel supported and who lives a life of struggle, they may believe that they don’t deserve to be on this earth. Consequently, they feel the need to constantly earn their right to exist.
Therefore, while they will be on this earth, this won’t be seen as evidence that they deserve to be here. Due to this outlook, they won’t be able to just ‘be’ and to work with the universe; they will need to ‘do’ all the time and to make everything happen through force.
The Big Question
Why would someone believe that they need to continually earn their right to be on this earth?
If someone believes they need to earn a right to exist, it shows is that their early years were a time when they were not given the nurturance, love and care that they needed to develop in the right way.
They may have been neglected and forced to take care of their caregivers needs from a very young age. A time in their life when they were entitled to have their needs met and should have been able to just be, instead was a time when their needs were overlooked and they had to earn their right to receive and to be here.
The feminine side of their being, the part of them that allows one to just be, and that provides them with self-worth and a sense of deserving, is under-developed for the adult who has experienced childhood trauma. What is more developed is the masculine side of their being, the part of them that relates to the ‘doing’ and gives them courage but doesn’t provide them with self-worth and a sense of deserving.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.