Unfinished business, unresolved issues, emotional baggage, irreconcilable differences, misunderstandings. Call it what you will, but whatever you call it, it ain’t good for relationships.

We usually refer to unfinished business as “incompletions.” They leave us feeling like there’s something missing, something unfinished or incomplete in our relationship. What is missing? The feeling that things are okay between us and that our connection is complete as is. That nothing that needs to be done or said in order for each of us to feel secure and at peace in our relationship at this time.

Incompletions leave us with a gnawing sense that something is not okay.

Consequently, we don’t experience a solid connection with each other. Some couples experience this pervasively in their relationship. They have failed to adequately address and come to terms with the broken places that exist between them. They may even believe that this feeling has become the norm and have become resigned to it being a permanent condition of their relationship. This perception is not only unfortunate and painful, but it is dangerous since it can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy that may solidify that belief into a reality.