Today I want to talk to you about something that’s very important in fact it’s absolutely critical to your success both in your personal life as well as your professional life and that’s the subject of confidence. In this video, I want to talk about first what self-confidence is, then what causes it. (In my next video, I will show you how to build unstoppable self-confidence.)
The Subconscious Mind and Self-Confidence
Let’s first talk about what self-confidence really is. Very simply, self-confidence is the belief that you can do what you set out to do. Most people have a belief that it’s somewhere in their subconscious that can be summed up in two words: “I can’t.” I can’t do it; I can’t lose weight; I can’t make more money; I can’t start my online business; I can’t get more clients; I can’t finish my book; I can’t meet the person of my dreams. Whatever it is that they want to do, their unconscious subconscious belief is I can’t do it.
As I’ve shown you in my book, The Secret Code of Success, the human mind is like an iceberg. About ten percent is visible above the surface — that’s your conscious mind — the vast ninety to ninety-five percent is hidden below the surface in your subconscious.
The problem is that even if you’re feeding your brain these conscious messages, or you’re consciously thinking “I can do it” using affirmations, or setting goals and visualizing things on the conscious level, if you have the subconscious belief that says “I can’t,” then all of that is going to be for naught; you’re going to have a lot of problems.
The Self-Confidence Cycle
We start at the top with the belief. Very simply, it’s the belief — either the belief is “I can’t do it” or the belief is “I can do it.” So let’s talk about “I can’t” first. You have to believe that you can do something well. If you have the belief, the next thing you do is you take action (how you do something). So you believe you can do it, you take action, and then you get a result. And if it’s a good result, you believe in yourself even more. You take more action and get better results, and it goes up from there. And that’s what I call the upward success spiral — that’s a great place to be, but what’s the problem?
The problem is that for most people, they’re doing the exact opposite. Instead of belief, they have a lack of belief. Now, a lack of belief is that belief I talked about earlier — which is, “I can’t.” Well, if you have a lack of belief, what are you going to do? Nothing. Exactly. You’re not going to do anything because you already just said “I can’t do it.” Why even bother?
“I’ll never make it,” right? So your lack of belief leads to no action, and what does that lead to? Well, it all leads to what I call “undesired results.” That means results you don’t want — so you don’t lose the weight, you don’t make more money, you don’t get more clients, you don’t start your business, you don’t grow to the level that you know you can reach. That’s what I call “the downward death spiral.” It’s very, very hard to go from the downward death spiral to the upward success spiral unless you have a few things in place, and they’re absolutely critical.
But what happens when you believe in yourself?
What if you take the action and you get an undesired result? You don’t get what you want. What happens then? Well, it depends on the level of belief. It depends on what happens in that moment of decision.
In my studies, my 30-year study of happy and successful people, what I’ve realized over time and through experience (and now coaching) everywhere for people from multi-millionaires to people who are really struggling stay-at-home moms, teenagers, athletes, and people from over 50 countries:
A lot of people started out with a belief. They took action and they got undesired results, but what did they do? They kept going until they got their desired results. So what is it? What’s the difference between the person who, when they get the undesired result they keep going and the person who just stops and says “well, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be”?
Let me tell you a true story about something that happened in our family recently.
My wife said that she wanted to go to a personal trainer. Now, if you’ve seen pictures of my wife, you know she’s gorgeous. She’s in amazing shape and she looks fantastic, but she said she wanted to get in even better shape. So being the supportive husband that I am, I said “okay, honey. If you want to go to a personal trainer, I don’t think you need it, but if that’s what you want to do, it sounds fine!”
She went to the trainer and came home. I said, “Well? How’d it go?” and she said, “All was great. The trainer was terrific and she’ll help me with lots of things!” and I said, “Well what did the trainer do?” She replied: “She showed me how to do this exercise and that exercise and this workout and that work out.” I said: “But honey, you already knew all those exercises. What do you need a trainer for?” Well her answer was very revealing, and, in fact, it revealed the answer to the question I just posed as to why some people, even though they get the undesired results at first, keep going until they get the desired results.
I’m not going to tell you what she said yet, but I’ll tell you in our second video.
I’ll tell you what Babette (my wife) said and what the answer was of what that personal trainer did.
What do you think Babette says? What is the difference? What does a personal trainer really do? It’s not the exercises, and it’s not showing you know different exercises (although that’s important, and you need that.)
I want you to write the answer to that question. While you’re thinking about that, I want to ask you another question: What is it that is the difference between a great coach instead of just a good coach?
We’ve heard a lot about coaching over the last 20 to 25 years. We have life coaches, business coaches, success coaches, executive coaches, etc.
Now coaching, of course, started with athletics. There are coaches anywhere from little league all the way up to Olympic coaches and everywhere in between. Well, what is the difference between a great coach instead of just a good coach?
There are great little league coaches and then there are good little league coaches. There are great Olympic coaches and then there are ok Olympic coaches. At every level that you go to, you see good coaches and great coaches.
I want you to write your answer that question down here too because they’re closely related, as I’m sure you’ve guessed. They’re also related to the topic of self-confidence.
In the next video, I’m going to show you how to build unstoppable self-confidence in yourself — both in your personal life and your professional life — so that you can blast through any obstacle and manifest exactly what it is that you want: your desired results. I’ll see you next time. Until then, this is Noah st. John and I look forward to hearing about your success story.
Noah St. John is the Creator of Freedom Lifestyle Experience.