Many things get better as we age—we get better at advocating for ourselves, we get more comfortable with who we are, we learn what matters to us, and we let the stuff that doesn’t fall away. One thing that gets progressively worse, though, is our ability to make new friends.

At the playground, you’d be instant best friends with anyone who had the same favorite ice cream flavor as you. In high school, your best friend likely played the same sport or did the same after-class activity. In college, your friends studied the same subject as you or were members of the same fraternity or sorority. But once you’re out of those structured environments, it’s hard to make new friends. You switch jobs, maybe move cities, and it becomes even harder.