Home Finding Your Life PartnerWhy You Haven’t found your Life Partner Paying The Price
Happy Couple having high expectations

The embrace of that special person can consume you into an abyss of passion and joy that makes a lifetime of pain and suffering seem worthwhile. The perfect relationship provides the spiritual experience of oneness your soul has been seeking for eternity.

How do you create and nurture such a relationship? To create a spiritual relationship, you must be committed to what works. You understand that mental, emotional and physical harmony are the foundation of a sustainable relationship (please read Science of Love). You have also learned it is important to have a clear vision for your life. So now you can find someone with a shared vision, one who wants to create a life with you (please read Sustainable Relationships). Once you have laid this concrete foundation, the final step is for you to be willing to “pay the price.”

The world would have you believe that the concept of a life that is unlimited, eternal and free is a pipe dream. The universal truth that life is for fuller and greater expression is a silly idea to most people. These beliefs are often ridiculed rather than put on a pedestal. These ideas are not foolish; it is how we are meant to live. These ideas are the only ones that work.

A spiritual relationship should be the solid foundation upon which you build your life. The stable datum upon which all else revolves. Your relationship is the safe place you go to when the world around you is spinning out of control. Here, we are creating a new context for your relationship. To facilitate this process let’s look at a couple of analogies. In your relationships, you can either “play ball” and have low expectations for yourself and your partner. Or you can shoot for the moon and have high expectations for you and your partner. I recommend you shoot for the moon.

Play Ball (Low Expectations)

Most people’s expectations for relationships are like the game of baseball; sometimes you get a hit, sometimes you strike out, and sometimes you don’t suit up for the game. If a major leaguer gets a hit three out of ten times at bat, he is an all-star and makes $15,000,000 a year. If a team wins 60% of its games, they will likely be world champions. Unfortunately, these averages will not work in your relationship. We expect baseball players to strike out it’s a part of the game. In a relationship, however, there are certain mistakes made once, can potentially destroy it or permanently transform it into conflict management.  Relationships are a beautiful creation – a pristine new baby that must be nurtured, fed and encouraged. Our goal should be to never strike out, bat a 1,000 and have a perfect season. When you bat a 1,000 in your relationship, you can end the conflict.  We have low standards and modest expectations for our commitment and behavior in relationships. This approach must end.

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