Introduction
Any form of psychological development – and its epitome in refined contemplative practice – requires two fundamental activities/skills/functions:
- Being with what is (both subjective and objective, internal and external, mind and matter)
- Working with what is
These are the two wings that enable the great bird to fly. But they are sometimes held as an either-or choice, or in conflict. For example, some therapists and some spiritual teachers seem to stress one wing in particular or criticize the other one. And in our own lives, sometimes our instinct is to be with a feeling, longing, etc., but the situation or person we’re with is pulling for us to work with it (and vice versa). Consequently, it’s really helpful to understand what each “wing” really is, the strengths and pitfalls of each, and how they can work best together.
Description of Each Wing
Being With
This involves:
- The initial orientation of attention (a fundamental neurological activity).
- Deepening attentiveness (a similarly fundamental action in the brain).
- Witnessing, knowing – For example, as the Buddha’s discourse (called a “sutta”) on mindfulness of breathing says, “Breathing in long, know that you are breathing in long; breathing in short, know that you are breathing in short.”
- Accepting – Surrendering to what is. Letting it be. (Of course, this does not mean approving . . . or disapproving.)
- Non-fabricating – Not adding anything yourself to what is. No effort whatsoever, no nudging of reality or experience in one direction or another.
