When it comes to understanding what enmeshment is, it helps to look at what boundaries are. Boundaries are what create a sense of individuality between people. And although we are all physically separate, it does not mean that we are emotionally separate from another person. This becomes what is known as enmeshment. Here, one will look physically separate, but emotionally they will feel attached to the other person. One will feel that they have no boundaries, and as a result, they will feel that they are not an individual. A mother-enmeshed man describes a man who is emotionally entangled to his mother. While it is true that mother-enmeshed men may live in a different house or a different part of the country, the emotional cord has not been cut.
In a functional relationship with boundaries, the emotional connection is a choice. When it comes to an enmeshed relationship, one doesn’t feel that he/she has a choice, that they are enslaved to the other person.
And for the mother-enmeshed man, it is a feeling of having no sense of self, other than an identity that is based on being attached to their mother.