How can you avoid codependent parenting? Research shows that codependency is learned in families and passed on generationally. It prevents the development of healthy, independently functioning individuals. When parents are codependent, codependency gets transmitted, unless they’re self-aware and consciously make an effort to respond to their children in healthy ways that counteract their codependent patterning. Because codependency is learned, it can be prevented and unlearned.
The problem is, like addiction, codependency is characterized by denial. This means you may not even be aware that you’re codependent and are unwittingly teaching it to your children, despite your best intentions. The most preventative steps you can take are to improve your self-esteem and communication. Some of the main symptoms of codependency are:
- Being overly focused on someone or something
- Low self-esteem
- Nonassertive communication
- Denying or devaluing needs, feelings, and wants
- Poor boundaries
- A need for control