Home Relationship With Your Life PartnerConflict Management: What Love is Not Dousing the Flames of Marital Conflict

Dousing the Flames of Marital Conflict

written by Dr. Eva Bell November 13, 2018
Marital Conflict

Conflicts in marriage are endemic. This is a union of two distinct individuals; each with his or her own likes, dislikes, prejudices, and pet peeves. As a result, conflicts are built into the marriage packet. As the famous evangelist, Billy Graham once said,

For a married couple to expect perfection in each other is unrealistic. The unblemished ideal exists only in ‘happily-ever-after’ fairy tales. ‘Happily incompatible’ is a good adjustment.”


No human relationship can exist in a permanent state of happiness, and conflicts need not be viewed as a sign of instability or impending rupture of marriage. Couples need to master the art of quarreling constructively and resolving all conflicts positively. A mature approach will increase understanding and trust and strengthen their relationship. However, this depends on their level of commitment to each other.

Areas of conflict:

  • Finances: In this consumer-oriented society of today, money, or the lack of it, can lead to conflict. Spouses have different spending habits. Overspending or unnecessary spending by one partner can upset the family budget, leaving less money for essentials. Entertainment, alcohol, and consumer goods can eat into one’s pocket. Similarly, miserliness will also trigger conflict.
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