Home Finding Your Life PartnerTo Date or Not to Date Red Flags in Online Dating: Reading Between the Lines

Red Flags in Online Dating: Reading Between the Lines

written by Nancy Nichols November 20, 2020
Girl doing some online dating

Girl, if he says this—RUN!

You can learn a lot about a man by reading between the lines of his online dating  email.

Pay attention to his tone. Is his script negative and complaining? It’s a sign he’s jaded, he has anger issues with his ex or he just plain does not respect women. Does he try too hard to impress you? If so, he has an ulterior motive; he’s a player, a scammer or serial dater. Does he boast and brag? It’s a sign of insecurity or a red flag of a self-absorbed narcissist. Either way, you need pass on him. Is he vague about who he is and his past? He’s hiding something, maybe a wife or girlfriend, financial problems or a million other online dating personal problems.

Bottom-line, if a man’s message pings your gut, it’s your intuition trying to warn you: This guy may be bad news.

That being said, there are newly divorced and widowed quality men on dating sites who are genuinely looking for a woman with whom to share their lives. They haven’t dated in decades and they may come off as goofy and clumsy in their emails and text messages. Give these guys a chance to prove their salt before passing judgment.

Here are some of my recent messages from men who are insincere, dishonest and predatory (and how I responded). Note: misspellings, typos, bad punctuation and heinous grammar belong to the original writer.

The Time-Waster:

FitforFun&Sun emailed me saying, “I loved your profile. I would love to get to know you better.”

He was handsome enough and his bio was seemingly intelligent. I emailed him back and he never asked to meet me. He instead generated a series of conversational messages. Ladies, unless you want a pen-pal, tell the man who wastes your time with endless emails, thanks but no thanks.

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