This is Part Two of a two-part series. Find Part One here.
Emotional Independence from our Parents
In Singaporean culture, it’s a norm to stay with Mum and Dad all the way to 35 or until you are married. Look, I’m not against staying with your parents; however, there are tons of benefits from gaining independence from them.
Our emotional dependence on our parents often leads to issues in our dating lives.
It’s also common to hear the phrase: you’re not marrying the girl, but you’re marrying the family.
I completely disagree. It’s an outdated traditional belief that shouldn’t hold true today. It’s a piss-poor form of a boundary. In any long-term, committed relationship, including marriage, you and your partner are going to start a life together. Your life choices should be independent of what your parents expect of you.
I’ve dated girls that are always worried about what Mum and Dad thought of her. This is despite reminding her constantly: “Hey look, I’m dating you, and I’m not dating your parents.”
Our life choices are often dictated by the judgment and opinions of society.
This includes our friends, our family, and societal expectations in general. We never bothered to differentiate ourselves in a manner that might be different from a societal norm. This plays out in our career choices as well.