To narcissists, relationships are transactional, like buying and selling. The goal is to get what you want at the lowest price. It’s a self-centered, business mindset. Emotions don’t intrude. In relationships, narcissists focus on their goal. For a male narcissist, that’s usually sex or to have a beautiful woman at his side. A female narcissist may be looking for material gifts, sex, acts of service, and/or an extravagant courtship.
Understanding a Narcissist
It’s important to understand a narcissist’s mind. They see relationships as a means to get what they want, without concern for the feelings of the other person. Their only concern is what they can get out of it. Relationships are used to enhance their ego and give them what they value, such as status, power, esteem, and sex. You have to have something to offer to receive in return. They’re only motivated by that and aren’t interested in you as a person or doing anything for you without some sort of payment.
An exclusive commitment, caring, and intimacy that most people seek in a relationship are considered drawbacks to a narcissist, who likes to keep options open. Sex and intimacy are not usually linked. A relationship with a narcissist will never develop into an I-Thou relationship or even one based on love.