If you think the scariest hood to be in is Parenthood, then you’re right. But there’s a way to make parenthood a little less scary. A lot of people ask for parenting advice or have parenting questions. Others share their poor parenting concerns and seek to understand the dynamics behind it all. So, this is not just me as a psychiatrist talking to you, I’m also a parent, and I really believe that parents help parents.
Poor Parenting and the Dynamics Behind it
Parenting isn’t about a checklist of how to do something right. It’s hard to know when you’ve gone off course, and, if you’re off course, it’s hard to know how to get back on course. If parents help each other out, then we’re helping our whole community and our entire society. I do have adult kids, and I can empathize greatly. I have been through a lot of the struggles that you’ve been through with my patients, my clients, and in my personal life.
What are the dynamics behind poor parenting?
We hear different names such as a helicopter parent, snowplow parent, and I have a phrase I’ve used for a long time called “tractor-trailer” parents. There are a lot of people who are afraid they are one of these parents or worried they’re going to become one of these parents. I always start any session or any treatment by stating, if you understand why poor parenting is happening, then you can stop it. It’s important to understand what’s going on, to see the patterns behind the poor parenting, and to come to realize it’s not what you want to be doing. If you don’t understand the patterns, the dynamics, and what’s going on underneath, it’s a lot less likely you’re going to figure out what’s wrong and where to go that’s better.